Johanna de Silentio (via emotional-algebra)
Try to take part in your life
Reasons To Be Happy:
- Dead trees still stand and so can you.
- You have five fingers on each hand. One day those fingers will travel from your lap to someone else’s and that person will know all the bad stuff and still want to kiss you.
- Seasons are guaranteed when nothing else seems to be.
you are allowed to terminate toxic relationships
you are allowed to walk away from people who hurt you
you are allowed to be angry and selfish and unforgiving
you don’t owe anyone an explanation for taking care of yourself
I haven’t always been this sad, but I can’t remember ever being truly happy either.
A year from now this won’t matter. A year from now this won’t matter. A year from now this won’t matter. A year from now this won’t matter. A year from now this won’t matter. A year from now this won’t matter. A year from now this won’t matter. A year from now this won’t matter. A year from now this won’t matter. A year from now this won’t matter.
one day i’m going to stop caring and i can’t tell if thats a very ugly or very beautiful thing.
damn i’m artsy.
There’s only 9 more days until my November 18th date of the Collide With the Sky tour. I don’t think anyone knows how I can’t even express my joy of finally getting out of this paper town and shitty house.
The fact that I get to see the people who are the only ones that can constantly pull me out of horrible spots in my life everyday for the second time in one year is something I know I don’t even deserve. Just being able to see the people who make being alive worth it soon and planning to hug them as tight as I can while telling them “Thank you for existing and being alive.” makes everything sort of…worth it.
At 7:35 A.M, you lay your tired body on mine
before peeling off, like a slow band-aid.
At 8:40 you sprint home and make instant coffee.
At 9:45 we finally drink it, cold.
I finish your leftover half.
By 10:50 you are already breathless.
I live for every time we overlap.
When 11:55 comes I spend the entire minute convincing you to stay.
You never do.
By noon I put my hands on your shoulders and say, “Baby,
you’re getting thin. All this running in circles and barely sitting down to eat.”
At 1:05 you tell me that while you were gone,
15,300 babies were born.
At 2:10 you don’t say a word,
just come in and kiss me for sixty seconds straight.
At 3:15 we sit quiet, listening to rain falling everywhere
in the world at once: all 15,000 tons.
At 4:20 we pull a little from the tight joint I keep behind your ear.
You do not inhale.
At 5:25 you meet me for happy hour.
My neck already salted, a lime wedged in my teeth,
a shot of tequila sitting on the bar.
At 6:30 I hear the ticking.
I count your heartbeat like seconds between thunderclaps.
By 7:35 I can see you in the distance,
each second a tease until you drape over me.
We always love quick and you never let me hold you.
I dream of drinking you through a straw.
At 8:40 you watch my beard grow 0.00027 of an inch.
At 9:45 we do not speak.
Too many people have died since we last met.
At 10:50 we pray for a meteor,
at least a clumsy kid to spill sugar in our gears.
11:55 is my favorite.
We’re only apart for mere minutes.
But at midnight you’ll apologize sixty times
because it will always be like this.
At 1:04 AM I am already sleeping.
It’s exhausting loving someone
who is constantly running away.
Yesterday while I was walking to my Government class, my friend who’s on the yearbook committee had to give one person in each grade a questionnaire. I apparently have my whole life already planned for me when I, hopefully, graduate this May so I was forced to answer the questions.
The questions were:
What are your expectations for your future? Why?
A) social life B) world/society C) other
So while I was thinking about this when I was supposed to hang and fix our Source 4’s, all I could think about was how Megan and Molly say girls NEED to prove others wrong. So I kept thinking and thinking about it more and more about what answer I actually wanted to put.
There was just something in my gut that kept telling me to put how it’s important to prove to others to never, ever underestimate a girl. I started to remember all the things I’ve accomplished since Theatre of Freshman year:
- stage managed a show
- ASM’ed two shows
- learned how to operate a lighting and sound board
- learned how to properly use Source 4’s, Source 4 Jr’s, Fresnels, and Par Cans
- all the technical work people said I wouldn’t be able to do because….I’m a girl
While I was writing my answer to the questionnaire, I went somewhere along the lines of “My expectations for my future is only just to prove to others that just because I’m a girl, it really doesn’t mean anything. I want to show the world that girls are capable of what they do not get enough credit for. Girls sometimes get bad names labeled on them because of the things other girls before them do. The only thing I want to do is show people that there are other girls who aren’t like that and are the most hard-working people ever.”
Megan and Molly, making people want to make good names for girls everywhere one blog post and yearbook questionnaire at a time.